Helicopter Crashes

This has been a rollercoaster past week. At around 6am on March 25 I received a call from dispatch advising that one of our helicopters had crashed just outside of Brownsville, TN without any survivors. The crew was one of the adult crews-- no Pedi-Flite personnel were onboard.

It was a very strange feeling. My heart sank and at the same time I had a guilty sense of relief that it wasn't anyone from my staff. I feel guilty for these feelings, but that is the truth.

I rushed to get to work and start figuring out all of the details and making the necessary notifications. As the day progressed, the reality of what had happened slowly started to sink in. It all started as a bad dream that just wouldn't go away. As the day progressed, the dream faded into stark and ugly reality. 3 friends were dead, the news was speculating on what happened, my team was devistated, we were grounded, and everything that we considered normal to our world was completely turned upside down.

I decided it necessary to send a memo to the team explaining the plans and officially addressing everyone regarding what had happened. It took most of the morning to choose my words, but by afternoon, my letter was submitted to the team. In addition, I had setup a grief counseling session for the team to take place the next day to begin the process of healing and understanding.

The next day was no easier and the pace of rumors and issues was ramping up. Members of the team were feeling many different stanges of grief and it was challenging to assist all members in understanding that everyone was responding normally. It was very clear that the counseling session was a necessary event and I was looking forward to having some help onsite to guide emotions.

The session was managed by our EAP team and local CISM team. They did a wonderful job in helping everyone. Their efforts were greatly appreciated by all.

At the end of the session the team was provided information regarding the services for each of the fallen heroes. At each funeral there was to be an ambulance procession and PediFlite was participating in the services as part of the Hospital Wing crew. While a great honor, it was also a big task. One funeral and visitation is difficult by three across a span of 4 days was very difficult. We organized the crews and asked that ambulances and boots be perfectly polished. From one service to the next we learned of little mistakes and guidance that needed to be given (like wear long sleeve uniforms to funeral services). Each service was a sad reminder of what happened and after each service it was difficult to stop and remember as there was immediate planning for the next service.

The hardest moment for me came when I was asked to speak on behalf of the PediFlite team at the Memorial service. While a great honor, it was also a great task. How was I to choose the perfect words to represent the character of those lost?

After asking the team for assistance with their memories and injecting a few of my own, I started to build an outline for what I would say. This outline slowly developed into a story and the story slowly into what I hoped to be honoring remarks for the great members of the Hospital Wing family that had died. I pondered and tweaked those remarks for most of the night constantly reciting in my head what I was to say. Was it perfect? I am sure not, but I was at a loss for how to make it better.

At the memorial service, I sat listening to all of the remarks made prior to mine reveling in how wonderful these 3 were. I knew the task before me was huge. I also knew it was going to be emotionally challenging-- I wasn't sure I was ready, but it was my turn.

Once on the podium I started speaking. As I made it past a few of the opening comments, I noticed my eyes watering and my hands sweating. While all of the words were written in front of me, there were becoming so blurry that it was VERY difficult to read them. I was working off of memory. Luckily a tear finally dropped from my eye allowing me to continue reading my remarks.

The memorial was a beautiful tribute to these wonderful people and I hope that our community will never forget the service and dedication that was provided to us by the crew of Wing 5. I know that I will not!